I'm a little sad and sleepy. The sleep is because it is 7 am and I have not slept yet. What a sad, do not know. Maybe sleep is a parasite. Sadness. Does not it sometimes happens? Or it may be that my sweetie is away. I miss too much. But I was very tearful and was not the idea. Affection for all, to give love is free. I love you but do not know.
Disclaimer: All fanficción writers strike could do for us to climb the salary:) ... $ 0 to $ 0.1 per story. Do not ask for much. Or by chapter? Best MUAJAJAJAJA give us rights if total or are using them.
NA: I always say the same thing. That you have not uploaded a capital and I have no time for work. I'll save you the boredom and I'll tell you ... this chapter I was total angst. Not intend. For nothing. But that turned out. And I think since I started this story, this is the first "hiatus" for this couple. It may be that I'm a bit pessimistic by the departure of Sara. It's Probably my fault. It's Probably definitely my fault. Oops ... to vary espoilié me ... with my story and CSI. Sorry. Ah! Merry Christmas and New Year. Better late than later. ----------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------- Sara
awoke. He realized he had fallen asleep with clothes on. He checked his watch. No more than one hour had passed. It felt so tired and yet wanted to leave. Your subconscious already knew where, but she took time to register. Grissom wanted to see. I wanted to talk. Tell her what had been thinking these last days. Telling the truth.
took the car keys and left. ----------------------------------------------
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- Grissom - said a voice in a professional tone across the phone.
- Hello - greeted her trying to sound indifferent.
There was a brief silence.
- Eeehh ... Hi, Sara. I thought you'd be sleeping, so do not you ...
- I talk to you - sounded more categorical than wanted.
Another silence. Did it hurt?
- Dime.
- No phone - had already reached the parking lot and was getting out of the SUV.
- Do not tell me you're out? Sara
stopped short How did you hear? Was I expecting? And do not call me? Decided best go and talk this another day. She walked back to the car.
- No, Grissom ... Would you have liked?
- The Truth is yes.
Why have to be so honest? Sometimes I thought it would be better if he lied, but when retracted ... preferred his sincerity. Although hurt. He turned again.
- What if I say that I'm actually out?
...
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Sara stood on the threshold of door, looking around. Although there had been three days and three days ! ... I felt there was something different.
- Pasa, please - said he saw that she was not moving, thinking it was due to shyness. not you see I do not bite ... so strong . It would be a good time to return your joke, but stopped to see his face.
- Are you okay, Sara?
- Yes - it was his terse reply. He changed the subject - I know why your department looked so different ... Are you going to move?
Grissom looked at her with a frown for a few seconds. Then he realized his line of thought ... and laughed.
- No! I guess what you say over the furniture and the pictures ... they are gone.
She nodded.
- Can not remember who ruined everything? The tables I'm fixing and furniture ... well, hoping to dry on the balcony.
- Oh!
Sara went to the dinner table and looked curiously at several paintings and frames were over. Put his hand to a work in particular. A Grissom, this gesture did not go unnoticed.
- you help me? - Said he presumed, with a half smile as he approached her.
- What? - Carefree she said without looking up the table.
- A repair, he - said he put his hand on hers, which rested on the work. It was a clumsy and hasty move, he knew, but wanted to. He wanted to touch.
wanted ...
But she withdrew her hand.
- sorry - he said softly, repented of having intimidated. Sara and Grissom said he was afraid that she had not heard. However, repeat would be a little uncomfortable, so silent.
Both looked at the picture. It consisted of a collection of butterflies stuck with pins on a cork background white. There were some areas where you could tell something was missing. Butterflies for those areas were to the side, drying on paper.
- Is spoiled with water sprinklers? - Asked Sara.
He nodded.
- What's left to do is ... - took a butterfly that was on the blotter - ... carefully unstuck and re-light them to these pins ... - took a pin from a small box full of them - on the box ... see?
He put so skillfully in his original position, that she had not been able to distinguish those that had been wet, which did not.
Sara took a butterfly and gently detached. Following the example of Grissom, also took a pin and put the insect in which she believed would be better. She turned to look at him and noticed that his eyes were not off of it in no time. He smiled. He seemed pleased. She smiled back, but only fleetingly.
- Grissom, with respect to ...
- Want some coffee?
A desperate situations, desperate measures.
Sara sighed.
- Okay.
- Be right back.
He went to the kitchen, leaving Sara with butterflies.
After a few minutes, she raised her voice that he heard from the kitchen.
- Grissom?
- Yes? - Said he also stentorian voice, as she finished preparing the coffee.
- I'll kill - she said sounding so sure what he was saying.
He looked up and frowned. He carried a tray with two cups of coffee to the living room.
- Why? - Really surprised and asked lowering his voice.
Sara, even back to him, turned.
- Mira.
Grissom's eyes were placed on his face and then on their toes. She held a butterfly in one hand and ... a wing of the same in the other. She returned to her eyes and noticed that Sara did not know whether to laugh or feel bad, but his face was forced innocence he had never seen before. It seemed funny. And laughed.
Sara sighed with relief.
Leaving aside the tray, he took the broken butterfly and took her to the bench.
- Do not kill for it - he said cheerfully as she put glue to the wing.
She watched as he managed his disaster.
- Why this?
He ignored her comment with a smile.
- Voilà - said, raising his butterfly table and looked at Sara with an amused expression - there is no problem with no solution except death.
placed the butterfly back in the box. He did it with such tenderness that Sara could not help but remember how the touch of those hands on his skin made him feel. As his fingers tangled in her hair delightfully. As buds walked slowly down her face as if to remind to the touch.
felt that began to lose perspective. I had to talk to him. Could not be left carry.
Too late. He had noticed his mental lapse and now looked at with the same desire in his eyes. Sara did not want him to think she had come on ... Oh no!
- Grissom, do not get me wrong, but ...
- Please. Help yourself - said passing the cup of coffee and taking himself his own - Sorry that there is no place to sit, but the chairs ...
- ... are in the balcony, I said - she smiled without mirth.
one is paused little uncomfortable.
- Sara, I know you've come to talk. Please tell me what's bothering you - took a sip of his coffee.
She put the cup on the table. The truth was that I did not want to take anything.
- I will resign.
Grissom, even with the cup in his mouth, gave him a quick look of surprise and then left the coffee on the table.
- Why? - Neutral tone asked, testing the waters.
- Does it matter?
- Of course I care. I am your supervisor.
- My supervisor ... - she let the last syllable was lost in the air with bitterness - ... resigned for personal reasons.
- But what?
- Should not be sufficient reason for my supervisor to accept my resignation?
Grissom realized his mistake.
- Sorry. Sara, you and I know you're more than my subordinate.
- But you're not only my supervisor, right?
- You know what I mean, do not play with words.
- No, Grissom. It was you who put the issue of professional status on the table. And for that reason I do not want to continue working in the laboratory. Never thought it would be I who say this, but you know there's a strict policy regarding personal relationships between colleagues.
- Yes, I know. And for a long time was that it prevented me from closer to you.
- Why now, Grissom? Why not before?
Grissom looked down. She continued.
- Jobs both are in play here. You knew, but never did anything until now.
He kept staring at the floor.
I'm not for recrimination
- If you give I respect your decision.
also wanted to say that anyway affect your departure, but would not sound manipulator. He could not help asking, though ...
- Where will you go?
Sara laughed.
Grissom, do not understand anything.
- Nowhere.
He was more confused than ever. His eyes gave him to understand that it demanded an explanation. And not by compulsion but by compassion. She sighed a long time and after a pause he continued.
- That I had fired not only affects you, Grissom - said she answered the question he had not dared to answer - when he saw blood spurting from my shoulder asked me what I have done all this time? And the answer was simple. Chasing illusions. Since I met you I have not done more to live in a fantasy world in which you were the heart And what I've done for me? I do not know. The truth is I do not know. But now, what I always thought it would be only part of my imagination is getting real and to be honest, I am now I do not know what to do about ... "this" as he once called it. I want to look. I know who I am and what I want ...
Grissom looked at her eyes with a mixture of bewilderment, grief and confusion.
- ... and the work and ... well, mostly you ... you ... do not know if ... Grissom, it was not the most appropriate time to ... I do not know how to say this.
- I understand.
- Griss ... - he returned to interrupt
- I said I understand, Sarah. Do not give me more explanation. Just do what you think is best for you. I agree.
- Everything has been so rapid, Grissom. Give me time and ...
- Sara ... I said I understand.
She realized that only made him more damage. Every extra second in his apartment was a drop of poison.
- I'm going.
He nodded and opened the door.
- goodbye - she said softly.
He nodded again and closed the door softly behind her.
Sara went to his car. Entered but did not go threw. He took the phone and could not write a message.
"Sorry."
waited a few minutes. Received one back.
"Never regret what you think right."
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What did I do wrong? ... What did I say? ... You're right: I do not understand anything.
Grissom sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the mobile message that Sarah had just sent and to which he had already answered.
"Sorry."
Sorry? ... Why me or you?
He lay down and closed his eyes. Not even bother to undress. ----------------------------------------------
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awoke before the alarm sounded, with a migraine impressive. He realized that it was not enough time to go back to sleep. Neither could have but would have liked, because the headache was too intense. It took three pills to mitigate it.
And suddenly, as if his mind had turned up the sun in the middle of the night, he understood everything.
Sara had not come that first day at home for nothing. Was not a coincidence, no. Was who invited him to dinner. Never ...
never asked him why he come!
As a flood of memories rushed to her eyes. When they were dancing in your living room ...
- Grissom
- Hmm?
- I need ... I want to answer ... tell me why ...
- Why, Why, Sara?
How could I be so blind! I did not realize how she ... She came to close a chapter! Sara wanted to go ahead.
How stupid I was!
Why now and not before? ... clear ... Why now, just as she had decided to leave the pain behind and remake? Why Why now, just as she wanted to forget?
How selfish! How inconsiderate! And silly, above all things! An idiot!
All I've done is confuse. All the time I forced the situation to tell me ... and I did not realize she had something to say. I should have paid attention to the signs ... when I was crying, pretending to read a book ...
- I have fear, Grissom.
- What, Sarah?
- The future.
Or the next day when I woke up alone ...
And for breakfast ...
- ... I do not know what to expect. I do not know what to expect from you What this means to you?
- Everything, Sara. This means everything to me. I could live the rest of my life with you at breakfast.
- I believe, Grissom, really. I want to believe with all my being, especially what you have said. But my hard work. I believe and I've been disappointed every time I have.
Or even in the amusement park ... God, how stupid ... how stupid I was ...!
- No! You do not understand. Grissom, I want to be with you. I really did. But sometimes I do not know why I have so much fear ...
and force her to trust me so violently that, being that she wanted ... I wanted to get rid of any bond that join me. He wanted me in the past. I wanted to move on with your life and I just I have blocked ... How blind!
Grissom felt awful. Both physically and emotionally. He had to sit. He was nauseous and dizzy. Did not know if it was migraine, tablets or sudden realization of what had happened in recent days. Or all that together.
"Everything has a solution except death." A butterfly's wing can be fixed with glue. You can confess love after six years of doing nothing about the feeling. You can try to forget your soul mate and move on, if no signs of corresponderte.
Everything has a solution except death.
was amazing how the fact that Sara had been about to die, had pushed both in opposite directions. Shocking and tragic. And stupid. And sad. Grissom penetrated emotions as lunges. He could not take it anymore and had to run to the bathroom. Vomited as if I were driving out demons. Never in her life she felt worse. Not even vomited when he saw his first scene of a crime. The damn headache now pierced him to the thoughts. He coughed and staggered reached his bed where he almost fell. He took the phone and called.
- Catherine - pronounced the name with just a whisper.
- Grissom? Are you okay? - Catherine immediately noticed that something did not fit.
- No. I'm with migraine. I can not go to work today. Please report to the laboratory.
hated sounding so weak. So insignificant. Absent also hated.
- Do not worry I will tell But you need something? Are you sure that is not something else?
- well, Catherine is just a migraine. You know they give me at least once a year, wanted to sound more confident.
added:
- Thanks for the concern. Goodbye.
- Bye.
Although he was already lying on the cutting felt as if collapsed again. The truth is beauty and beauty is truth ... except when it hurts and never thought that would be literally. For a long time he had caused her so much pain without realizing it. But now I understood. Now she felt what she felt. And do not blame her for taking. On the contrary, who was he to judge her if she had never tried it. Sarah was his butterfly. Erratic. Volatile. It was not his. But I wanted so it was. In his collection. With a broken wing, did not care. Dead But they are dead! Death. Forensic Academy. Since when you care about beauty. Since that day. And you're like the truth. Beautiful, fragile and dangerous. And painful. And clear. And bright. You left me blind. But it was me who did not want to see. View your fear, your anxiety. I wanted to look like a butterfly. Free. Happy ...
Grissom fell asleep in a restless sleep. -------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------- TBC------------------------------
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